Top Ten Times Two List - Reece's Pieces

Submitted by Reece Peterson

1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
   Then it hit me.

2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
   He's all right now.

3. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang,
   but eventually it came back to me.

4. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

6. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said
   'Keep off the Grass'.

7. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

8. When chemists die, we barium.

9. To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a sentence.
   

10. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
    The police are looking into it.

12. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

13. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

14. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period.
    It marks the end of his sentence.

15. What did the triangle say to the circle?
    You're so pointless.

16. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
    Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

17. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

18. What do you call cheese that is not yours?
    Nacho Cheese.

19. I get my large circumference from too much pi.

20. He said I was average - but he was just being mean.